Water Deal Press Reviewed for You

The gang who cooked up the Great John Brown Water Debt Giveaway are getting worried. Tuesday afternoon, At-Large Democrat Councilman John Brown issued a press release that was a little grouchy. We’ll summarize the main points of the press release put out by the John Brown gang for your convenience:

1. Would everyone please stop picking on John Brown? He or someone close to him promised Rensselaer Democrats a deal on the water debt, regardless of what it costs Troy, and a promise is a promise, after all. Even if that promise costs $2 million.
2. Mayor Tutunjian is only being mean to John Brown because John Brown wants to drop about $2 million of the debt owed to Troy.
3. Rensselaer hasn’t paid Troy for water since 1999. That’s somehow Mayor Tutunjian’s fault, even though he only took office in January, 2004. Plus, Mayor Tutunjian needs to stop being mean to John Brown.
4. While Rensselaer – one of the biggest Democrat bastions in the area – hasn’t paid for water since 1999, it has something to do with Republicans. Probably bad Republicans. Maybe Karl Rove, or the guy who told on Spitzer for using hookers.
5. If everyone would just trust Rensselaer more, they will get the water debt paid off by 2036. Promise. Really. Tom Nardacci is not involved in the deal, by the way, even though the John Brown press release Tuesday doesn’t talk about Tom Nardacci, and WTENs John McLoughlin asked John Brown about one dozen questions about Nardacci last week.
6. Notes are being taken on who is being mean to John Brown. He doesn’t have time for people being mean to him because he has more important things to do, like giving away $2 million owed to Troy.
7. The press release issued in response to people being mean to John Brown said it came from the Troy City Council Democrat Majority but only three people were listed out of the six council members. Are the other three Democrat council members being mean to John Brown? If so, they need to stop so he can continue doing important stuff like giving away Troy’s money.
8. In not going along with John Brown’s plan to give away Troy’s money, Republicans are being mean and are “sabotaging progress”. Giving away $2 million in debt owed to Troy is “moving city forward”, say the John Brown gang.
9. According to Democrat Councilman Bill Dunne, the debt owed by Rensselaer was $800,000 when Mayor Tutunjian took office. Now it’s a lot more, and somehow that is Mayor Tutunjian’s fault. Which goes to show you how deep the GOP conspiracy in making Rensselaer not pay its debt goes.
10. Troy Deputy Mayor Dan Crawley’s comments in response to John Brown’s press release are pretty funny, considering his city is getting ripped off for $2 million. But funny can sometimes be mean, including being mean to John Brown, and that needs to stop immediately. Just like the Republicans who are forcing Rensselaer Democrats not to pay the water bill needs to stop immediately.
11. This list has gotten too long, which is more proof of a Republican plot. Or meanness to John Brown.